Written by one of the artists I admire…

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Where Am I Exactly?

I woke up today realizing that I have no definite plan. The only thing that is clear to me is that I am made for God. That my life is meant to glorify His mighty name.

(For those close to me, it is not new that I would like to organize and write stuff. I am a dreamer. And a mind wanderer. I’d like to plan and list the things I’d love to do and places I would go. Oh, the places I would go!)

Whatever I do, wherever I am or wherever I will be, I am to live for Him. I am one of those who prepares the way for His second coming. I do believe in my heart that it is my call in the Kingdom. And my heart says that I am to reach out to other nations and do my best to share the gospel and equip them. This, I feel is so big. But He is already there. I just have to jump in and take a big leap of faith!

Now I am in my hometown and serving with our local church. It is supposed to be a lot easier to share the gospel and reach out to people. However, things are different. People have grown cold even with the idea of God. They are full of the knowledge about God, but lack personal encounter. God has specifically placed me in this situation to test my faith and intensify my commitment to Him.

Everyday I face obstacles especially within myself. My heart is aching. I have this holy discontent. I can feel deep within that His Spirit is beckoning me to GO OUT! He is shouting,  AWAKE, AWAKE! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

If I cannot conquer my heart, how will I be able to be an instrument in putting cold hearts into fire?

It pains me so much.

Sometimes it is easier to take part in the church ministry and carry out assignments. But the call of God and the process towards it requires not just to DO THINGS, but to BRING HEAVEN ON EARTH.

The call is to REPRESENT THE FATHER in this fallen word. As His daughter, it is my privilege and responsibility.

I have reached the point where I think I AM OK. Yeah, I convince myself that nothing is wrong. I do my devotions, wake up everyday and attend the dawn prayer meeting, conduct a small group, visit the campus, and connect with other people. As you can see, I am pretty busy. 😉

BUT is that it? Have you asked yourself that the things you do is the end in itself? Does it satisfy you at all?

I strongly believe that the things we do does not define us. It will never have the power to define who we are. If it has, I would rather die now.

I believe that God is calling me to restore what was lost. That is the very core of my relationship with Him.

For intimacy was no more.

Yes, I talk to God and pray often. Yet my heart feels a little empty. I feel Him inside of me but I feel that there is something missing. I feel lost within myself.

I don’t know what exactly is that. All I know is that He has placed a deep want in me to dig deeper; to grow inside His heart.

Isn’t that beautiful? The God of the universe is calling me to grow inside His heart.

We all know that growth is a lifetime process. Maturity doesn’t stop somewhere in the middle of having assignments, taking responsibilities, and becoming like Him. There is so much more.

Thus, I embark on this unknown journey. As I enter into rest, I do believe that intimacy will be restored. From there, He will lead me to where I should be and guide me on what I must do. Everything will be clearer. I am certain that He is putting things together in my life.

The invitation is not for me alone. It is for you as well. I am more convinced that it is not about the plans, but THE ONE WHO PURPOSED EVERYTHING ACCORDING TO HIS GLORY.

So, where am I exactly?
Well, I’m digging a little deeper INSIDE GOD’S HEART.

No more plans, just PURE LOVE.

 

 

 

How about you, what was the first thing on your mind when you woke up today?

Where do you think He is leading you?

01.31.13

Good Morning, Daddy!

You are full of heart-warming surprises. Every day is such a wonderful day to be with You. My smiles are getting bigger and bigger. Why is that? Is it because I am lost inside your big big heart that all I can do is jump up and down and get lost in The Dance?

I’ve never felt this way before. But as I can see, there would be more surprises and lots of love. This isn’t a dream for I am wide awake and ignited.

My heart is full of you! It’s bursting with butterflies and rainbows. Thank you for showing me the Wonderful Things.

Keep me awake. I wouldn’t want to sleep and miss you.

Love,

Josephine