Dazed

I noticed how lovely you are. The almost-perfect glow of sunlight reflected in your face is absolutely gorgeous. Your face is stunning. The beauty that emanates from your heart is contagious. I cannot stop myself from gazing at you. My senses are fixed at your presence. I cannot think of anything else other than you. This nearness feels like a thousand days in the clouds. Everything is free yet wanting. All seems weightless and merry yet undone.

In a moment, I felt your body enveloping mine. Your embrace took me a thousand more days up high. I felt fire in my heart as rivers of tears flow from my eyes. Infected by your beauty, overwhelmed with your presence, and set ablaze with your fire, is there anything else I could long for?

Here I am mesmerized, stuttering, and crying like a lost child.

Your presence is no stranger to me. I am familiar with this feeling. I am acquainted with your embrace. I am aware of what it brings. Every part of my being; the cells in my body, and the neurons of my brain were all excited by your light. The fire you lit in my heart caused a wildfire in my body. I cannot do anything else but fall down on my knees.

I am drawn to you. All that I am is in awe of your beauty and comforted by your warmth. A day spent gazing at your loveliness will never satisfy. A lifetime of pursuing you is too short. In this space we call our own, you had me dazed, stupefied and all other words synonymous to it combine.

 

The True Grace

Since I went to college, I was not able to see her as often as I did before. The use of mobile phone bridged the miles between us. Oftentimes I would be “annoyed” by her frequent text messages such as:

“Musta na?” (How are you?),

“Saan ka ngayon?” (Where are you?)

or even “May pera ka pa? Magkano?” (Do you still have money? How much?)

She’s like a tracking device and an automated machine. There were a lot of chances that she would get mad at me because oftentimes I wasn’t able to reply ASAP. Circumstances like that repeatedly lead to her becoming cold to me EVER.

There was a time I asked Papa,

“Bakit laging ganun si Mama?” (Why is Mom like that?)

and he said,

“Hayaan mo na, ganyan lang talaga siguro ang mga Nanay.”

(Well, maybe it’s just natural for mothers to be like that.)

Now, I am home. And every time I’m here, my understanding of her heart grows deeper. Her ways in showing it is simply amazing. I could not imagine myself surpassing everything that she is doing to serve and even give more of her life for us. Her heart is so big and I cannot contain it. I could see and feel the depth and breadth of her love for our family. Her strength is exemplary. I honor how she carries herself despite the waves of challenges that come her way.

She’s like a beauty queen waving her hand gracefully in the middle of the storm and standing firm above adversity.

I made this on Mother’s day. I just don’t know how to polish and finish this.

It’s hard to write something for a great person, especially for your mother.

Ma, I love you. Thank you for bringing me in your wonderful world and for giving me your love. Though you are not expressive and showy in conveying how you feel, your actions show how great is your love for us.

Thank you for bestowing your strength and beauty. I am proud to be your daughter.

When I become a mother I will tell my children about YOU – the true GRACE.

Note: Upon reading this note, she said, “I was touched by your letter. Thank You.” Then I died. Lol.